24/7

Dear Kali,

Mumbai has some 260 sunny days in the year, with the rest being either cloudy or rainy. I remember growing up and longing for the rainy days so I could sit inside and watch the year-round, familiar environment change. I would watch the ever-dry ground and metropolitan skyline become covered by a layer of water's shine. After moving to Worcester, this weather I had always longed for turned from fond to bleak. "Something something the grass is greener," am I right? Anyways, I started to appreciate all the little things the sunny weather brought that I had taken for granted. Now, as I return back home, despite how hot and humid it may get, I can say with some certainty that the emotions I feel from spending time in the sun and greenery are unmatched by any other weather or environment. It is special to me. I say all this to recall the time when you told me that the evening reminds you of me. I assume this was because of the time we spent together, and how our connection first grew during those hours. An affection that I never had for the snow and the evening hours, I now feel so strongly. However, despite all this, I find myself, somewhat strangely, reminded of you the most when the sun is out. Perhaps it is because that is the time I haven't yet been able to properly share with you. Maybe it is because when I was first getting to know you, this was the time when my mind was most preoccupied with you, even though I would pretend to be busy for three hours before texting you back. I do not think I can properly articulate why this may be, but ever since I liked you, the emotions I feel in the sun all get magnified by a million because I want you to share it with me. This time apart gave me the closest thing we have had so far to that wish. All the days where I would wake up late in the night to a text message or a call from you, then stay with you until the sun rose, reminded me of the times when we would do the exact same thing while being less than half a mile away from each other. Over the past two months of our relationship, I have come to realize that in your thoughts, and the accompanying joys and sorrows that come with them, perhaps I play more than just a "minor" role. I find myself trying so desperately hard in every conversation we have, every word I say to you, every text I send, and everything I do, to prove to you that you, as you are, are known to me. That you are known to me through our months of talking about our hopes, thoughts, and wishes. With this realization, I am sure that you are someone I know, really know. We both have more than just something the other needs. We complement each other. Our regular, unwavering communication every single day bears that out. I can never imagine letting a day pass without trying to talk to you. Every morning before I get out of bed and every night before I go to sleep, my mind often clears of everything else, and I find myself devoted to just thinking of you. And even if a morning or a night does pass where circumstances make it such that I cannot speak to you, I thoroughly and genuinely enjoy just the very thought of you. I carry that with me throughout the day. I cannot wait to share more seasons with you and appreciate each environment we share in a completely new way. I hope you followed me through this writing. I worry that I may not have made myself entirely clear or that I overworked my words, but I can accept not accomplishing that. I hope to have thousands of other opportunities for you to know how I feel about you, and how I think about you, every. single. day.